eggshellblue: (youandme/sad)
[personal profile] eggshellblue
Okay, like where the fuck did this break week go? WHERE?

Between taking care of my mum after her operation, and battling one of the biggest art blocks I've ever had, my school work = not nearly as complete as I would like it to be. I still have time to finish it, but I'll probably end up rushing, and that's never fun. But then again, alot of my best work comes from when I'm under pressure. B-but... ugh, I hate relying on that! One day, even under pressure, the inspiration won't come, and then I'll be screwed. Fucking screwed.

I really wish my tablet was still set up on this computer. Just... ugh... I miss digital painting, so much. Doing digital sketches on PS or Painter or OC just kept me in practise, and let me keep my creativity going. I hate not being able to slap colours onto my work whenever I feel inspired to do so. I've been experimenting with gouache/watercolour, and even bought a seperate sketchbook for that sort of thing, but it's just not the same. It's not as loose, or as free, or as forgiving as the computer. Stupid Macbook Pro. I hate macs. They fucking suck. My photoshop doesn't work well on it. And my tablet just fucking hates the damn thing. I wish so badly I'd just gotten a regular laptop of some kind. So badly.

Guh. I really should work on those cloud paintings, as they're due the soonest. But, I'm just so uninspired! *sighs* But I don't want to leave them to Monday/Tuesday, 'cause like that's not good, and so many things could come up, and then I'd end up with no time at all to finish. After my huge botch on my first painting assignment, I can't afford to screw up another one.

I'm just feeling so artistically cramped. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. It feels like pressure, all the time. This horrible, building pressure in my head and my body, and I fidget and fret and get upset at the slightest thing. Yet, when I pick up a pencil to draw, nothing comes out, and I just get so frustrated and toss my sketcbook away, and end up in a worse mood than I was to begin with! UGH. WHAT THE FUCK UNIVERSE, CUT ME SOME FUCKING SLACK, WOULD YOU?

It's very likely that no part of this entry made any coherant sense. And I probably used about a million run-on sentences, but I just don't care. ARGH.

*rages*

Date: 2007-10-28 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kyasuriin.livejournal.com

*pets* Is your mom doing okay after her operation? artist's block really really sucks. I empathize!

Date: 2007-10-29 12:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yue-d.livejournal.com
Geeh, thanks hun. And yeah, she's doing alright now, she spent a bit of time at the hospital, but she's recovering well and is back at home now ^_^

<3

Date: 2007-10-29 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kageno.livejournal.com
Oh, hope your mother's okay! *hugs* You'll get through this!

Date: 2007-10-29 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] april-potter.livejournal.com
I totally know what you mean about how fast the week went. I feel like I just went home! I hope your mom's going okay now. And I hope that your artist's block goes away soon.

Date: 2007-10-29 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerual-21.livejournal.com
I'm glad to hear your mother's doing well, and I hope your wrtr'sblck is soon quelled by a flash of inspiration.
I love that at least one word in every paragraph is italicized. Emily of NM, anyone? A_P?



Date: 2007-10-29 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zeitgeisha.livejournal.com
Best wishes to your mom ^^

,..and agghhh artist block T_T
i kind of wish i still drew enough to *get* artists block gwaaah T_T but I'm sure you'll pull through ^^v <3

Date: 2007-10-31 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerual-21.livejournal.com
Do you really not like your apple, or was it just the annoyance of the moment.

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