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eggshellblueI'm seriously getting sick of this eye-tag game that we're playing... It's just so ridiculous.
*sigh*
And he's too good for me. I know it, and so does he I guess... fuck it. Beyond the fact that I'm physically attracted to him liek whoah, I know nothing else about him - and I'm beginning to get this sick feeling in my stomach that he's straight, and is totally weirded out by all the staring. He likes playing golf. What gay man likes playing golf? Well, there are probably quite a few, but still - this doesn't help my current misgivings, now does it?
Yesterday:
He leaves work around 4:30 usually, and that day was no exception. First he goes by the till I'm working at w/ Denise, and says bye to her and kind of nods at me (because we don't really talk much anyway). Then, he doubles back and waits in line at our till, and says he needs to buy something. W/E. He buys some soil for his mother, and then asks if he get's any kinda discount. Dee looks at me and says "I dunno, does he?" and I say, "How long have you been working here?" and he says "about two months." Our company policy on employee discounts is that we get 30% off if we have been working there for three months or more. So I'm like, "Give him 30%", and Denise says "Are you sure? I dun wanna get in trouble for this...", to which I replied "I've done it like twice before, we'll be fine". So, he gets a discount.
While the order is going through, he's chatting w/ Denise about golfing and where he's going to go golfing, and I'm just looking down, because I'm too fucking shy to even look him in the face when he's that close >_< - and as such I get to stare at his body (which is quite fine btw)
I have no idea how the fuck it happened (maybe he noticed I was looking down/at his body as opposed to his face), anyway, he suddenly rubs his arm and pulls up the sleeve of his tee-shirt slightly and goes, "Wtf, would you look at that farmer's tan?" Denise laughed slightly and said, "Soooo sexy", and I just laughed like an idiot.
Anyway, over the course of all this I made eye contact w/ him like four times (each being a time that I had managed to brave looking up at his face, and he just suddenly looked at me as well...) and I managed to grin and say 'later' as nonchalantly as I could... which wasn't very nonchalant at all, I might add...
*headdeskwallfloor*
*deep, resonating and wretched sigh*
u__u;
Whatever. After that episode, I just got depressed for no reason. I dunno what it is, but I get the feeling it's just me doing the oogling, and him being weirded out and yet trying to deal with it.
BUT.
He totally started it. I noticed him watching me when I had gone in for the interview (I was dressed quite well that day), and he started it again when I began working there. I merely retalliated. Right? RIGHT?!
BUT.
He seems so straight. And he doesn't seem to be the shy sort, so why hasn't he said/done anything? Am I just making an idiot of myself? Probably....
BUT...
--
Yeah... that *point up* has been my mental argument on repeat since yesterday... I have a headache now...
T_T
Ugh... I need fic... *goes off to read*
*sigh*
And he's too good for me. I know it, and so does he I guess... fuck it. Beyond the fact that I'm physically attracted to him liek whoah, I know nothing else about him - and I'm beginning to get this sick feeling in my stomach that he's straight, and is totally weirded out by all the staring. He likes playing golf. What gay man likes playing golf? Well, there are probably quite a few, but still - this doesn't help my current misgivings, now does it?
Yesterday:
He leaves work around 4:30 usually, and that day was no exception. First he goes by the till I'm working at w/ Denise, and says bye to her and kind of nods at me (because we don't really talk much anyway). Then, he doubles back and waits in line at our till, and says he needs to buy something. W/E. He buys some soil for his mother, and then asks if he get's any kinda discount. Dee looks at me and says "I dunno, does he?" and I say, "How long have you been working here?" and he says "about two months." Our company policy on employee discounts is that we get 30% off if we have been working there for three months or more. So I'm like, "Give him 30%", and Denise says "Are you sure? I dun wanna get in trouble for this...", to which I replied "I've done it like twice before, we'll be fine". So, he gets a discount.
While the order is going through, he's chatting w/ Denise about golfing and where he's going to go golfing, and I'm just looking down, because I'm too fucking shy to even look him in the face when he's that close >_< - and as such I get to stare at his body (which is quite fine btw)
I have no idea how the fuck it happened (maybe he noticed I was looking down/at his body as opposed to his face), anyway, he suddenly rubs his arm and pulls up the sleeve of his tee-shirt slightly and goes, "Wtf, would you look at that farmer's tan?" Denise laughed slightly and said, "Soooo sexy", and I just laughed like an idiot.
Anyway, over the course of all this I made eye contact w/ him like four times (each being a time that I had managed to brave looking up at his face, and he just suddenly looked at me as well...) and I managed to grin and say 'later' as nonchalantly as I could... which wasn't very nonchalant at all, I might add...
*headdeskwallfloor*
*deep, resonating and wretched sigh*
u__u;
Whatever. After that episode, I just got depressed for no reason. I dunno what it is, but I get the feeling it's just me doing the oogling, and him being weirded out and yet trying to deal with it.
BUT.
He totally started it. I noticed him watching me when I had gone in for the interview (I was dressed quite well that day), and he started it again when I began working there. I merely retalliated. Right? RIGHT?!
BUT.
He seems so straight. And he doesn't seem to be the shy sort, so why hasn't he said/done anything? Am I just making an idiot of myself? Probably....
BUT...
--
Yeah... that *point up* has been my mental argument on repeat since yesterday... I have a headache now...
T_T
Ugh... I need fic... *goes off to read*
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-25 04:42 pm (UTC)Someone needs a hug.
*FLYINGGLOMPTACKLEDEATH.*
*cough*
no subject
Date: 2006-05-25 09:03 pm (UTC)He might not be straight, ya know. Don't give up so soon.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-25 09:25 pm (UTC)THERE. Finally. -.-
no subject
Date: 2006-05-26 02:49 am (UTC)gah! tricky tricky! Is there any way of finding out if he has a girlfriend? Or asking him who he goes golfing with and being like 'is your girlfriend into it'? and then seeing how he reacts. I don't know.. it's all very tricksy :\ If it makes you feel any better, I crushed on my gay manger for a looooong time (and always felt that sort of mushy feeling too. At times it gets you so high but then other times it just sort of feels moooshy, not in a good way).
no subject
Date: 2006-05-27 03:44 am (UTC)As
Oh, and BTW, did you see my new Lj header? Go have a look. ;P
no subject
Date: 2006-06-08 09:29 am (UTC)altho i am not saying that he is unfortunately straight like u were unfortunately gay, but i am saying there is a lesson to be learnt: it wont end badly. befriend the guy first.