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I'm really pissy right now... and I don't even know why. Do you ever have one of those days when anything will set you off, and yet moments before you were perfectly fine? Yeah... the past few days have been like that for me. I think it's due to too much human interaction. I'm the type of person who can't be around people too much. When I'm around those I like/care about, I'm cool... but no matter what, I always need to get away to be by myself for a bit. Some time to recharge, regroup, whatever. I've always been this way. I'm not a loner or anything, I just like having my space sometimes. Is that too much to ask?
I've been working as a cashier for a week-and-a-bit, and honestly? It's not a bad job. Of course I dread waking up in the morning and actually going to work, but once I'm there I just fall into the rhythm and that feeling just goes away. It helps that the people I work with are really cool, and alot of fun to talk to. But by the time I get home, it's just been too much. I just can't deal with bitchy customers, clingy trainees, and the like and then be expected to come home and spend time with my family - with a smile on my face. I mean, I can be around them, but chances are I won't be saying much - just sitting off to the side watching everyone, listening to what's going on.
But no. That's not enough for them. I've got to interact, laugh, and play, and be a good host. Oh, did I mention that I've got five people staying at my apartment? Yeah... it get's cramped, with everyone walking over eachother, and only two televisions to tide everyone over. The worst of it? My room has been taken over. My room. Now, I don't know how it is with other people, but for me, my room is my haven, my sanctuary, my universe... MINE. I read, think, and just be in my room.
Usually, I just retreat to my room for a couple hours, and emerge refreshed and ready to be with the world. But since I can't go into my room, how the fuck do people expect me to be able to cope? Is it my fault that I'm bitchy, aggravated, argumentative, impatient and just a total ass? Well, technically yes, but I'm going to say it's not. (Either that, or blame it on the fact that I'm a Scorpio)
Anyway. Today, I got home at 7:30, and went to go sit at the computer. Ten minutes later, my Dad comes into the room and starts bitching at me that I'm never around the family, that I'm never interacting, that I'm never happy or cheerful or nice. Sorry mate - I'll try to be nicer, if you just try to smarter, okay?
Is he fucking serious?! Where the fuck does he get off telling me off for this shit? When it's just the four of us (Father, mother, brother and myself) at home, he's the one who's quiet and just sits there. But when we have company, he pulls a 360, and becomes the gracious, genial, fun-loving host. You know what? He can take his hypocrisy, and shove it up his fucking ass. I'm not dealing with that shit.
My mother, my brother, and even half of the fucking family know that I need my space sometimes. But my dad? he just doesn't get it. And the worst of it? He always manages to 'notice that I'm not around and making merry' right when I'm in the crappiest of my moods.
You can just imagine how that works out.
God, I'm just tired of it. I want to leave, just go. But I've no where to go, not without being a burden on someone at least, so here I remain.
*sigh*
I'm sorry for sounding like a whiny bitch, but I needed to get that out... >_<;
I've been working as a cashier for a week-and-a-bit, and honestly? It's not a bad job. Of course I dread waking up in the morning and actually going to work, but once I'm there I just fall into the rhythm and that feeling just goes away. It helps that the people I work with are really cool, and alot of fun to talk to. But by the time I get home, it's just been too much. I just can't deal with bitchy customers, clingy trainees, and the like and then be expected to come home and spend time with my family - with a smile on my face. I mean, I can be around them, but chances are I won't be saying much - just sitting off to the side watching everyone, listening to what's going on.
But no. That's not enough for them. I've got to interact, laugh, and play, and be a good host. Oh, did I mention that I've got five people staying at my apartment? Yeah... it get's cramped, with everyone walking over eachother, and only two televisions to tide everyone over. The worst of it? My room has been taken over. My room. Now, I don't know how it is with other people, but for me, my room is my haven, my sanctuary, my universe... MINE. I read, think, and just be in my room.
Usually, I just retreat to my room for a couple hours, and emerge refreshed and ready to be with the world. But since I can't go into my room, how the fuck do people expect me to be able to cope? Is it my fault that I'm bitchy, aggravated, argumentative, impatient and just a total ass? Well, technically yes, but I'm going to say it's not. (Either that, or blame it on the fact that I'm a Scorpio)
Anyway. Today, I got home at 7:30, and went to go sit at the computer. Ten minutes later, my Dad comes into the room and starts bitching at me that I'm never around the family, that I'm never interacting, that I'm never happy or cheerful or nice. Sorry mate - I'll try to be nicer, if you just try to smarter, okay?
Is he fucking serious?! Where the fuck does he get off telling me off for this shit? When it's just the four of us (Father, mother, brother and myself) at home, he's the one who's quiet and just sits there. But when we have company, he pulls a 360, and becomes the gracious, genial, fun-loving host. You know what? He can take his hypocrisy, and shove it up his fucking ass. I'm not dealing with that shit.
My mother, my brother, and even half of the fucking family know that I need my space sometimes. But my dad? he just doesn't get it. And the worst of it? He always manages to 'notice that I'm not around and making merry' right when I'm in the crappiest of my moods.
You can just imagine how that works out.
God, I'm just tired of it. I want to leave, just go. But I've no where to go, not without being a burden on someone at least, so here I remain.
*sigh*
I'm sorry for sounding like a whiny bitch, but I needed to get that out... >_<;
