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'The Rules' - from the Male Perspective.
Mar. 28th, 2006 01:53 pmI got this forwarded to my email, and I thought it was SO hilarious. I would just forward it to everyone, but the spelling/grammar is so god-awful, that I just had to correct it... :P
Firstly, this is all from a straight perspective ~ very little of this actually applies to me, or how I think/act, but for all you ladies looking for/dealing with your man, I thought you'd enjoy reading this XD
Here it is: --
(NOTE - They are all labeled #1 on purpose)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat:
~ You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You need it up, we need it down - you don't hear us complaining when you leave it down!
1. Sunday Sports:
~ It's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport:
~ And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is BLACKMAIL.
1. Ask for what you want:
~ Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT!
1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it - Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is indismissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry - we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or you can tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colours (like Windows default settings). Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit, and we've no idea what the hell mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say 'nothing' - we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight - but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
--
lol ~ that was it :P, and before anyone gets offended - THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ALL MEN, this is just a stereotypical look at the stereotype of relationship rules. M'kay?
Firstly, this is all from a straight perspective ~ very little of this actually applies to me, or how I think/act, but for all you ladies looking for/dealing with your man, I thought you'd enjoy reading this XD
Here it is: --
(NOTE - They are all labeled #1 on purpose)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat:
~ You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You need it up, we need it down - you don't hear us complaining when you leave it down!
1. Sunday Sports:
~ It's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport:
~ And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is BLACKMAIL.
1. Ask for what you want:
~ Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT!
1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost any question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it - Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is indismissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry - we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or you can tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colours (like Windows default settings). Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit, and we've no idea what the hell mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say 'nothing' - we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight - but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
--
lol ~ that was it :P, and before anyone gets offended - THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ALL MEN, this is just a stereotypical look at the stereotype of relationship rules. M'kay?
